Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking cigarettes, study finds

There are two types of people in the world: those who enjoy their own company, and those who cannot find peace even if left alone in a quiet room. The former is what we commonly know as the people who embrace solitude, those who actually find pleasure and peace being alone. While the latter are

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10 difficulties sometimes people have to deal with while unemployed

If you thought being jobless was enough of a problem to handle for the jobless person, you are wrong! There are hundred other things to bother about while one is still jobless. Why? For one reason, joblessness rhymes with hopelessness. Secondly, unemployment always comes with it’s entourage. A jobless person has a lot going on

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What is ‘high-functioning depression’ and FIVE signs that could help you identify it

Depression is one of most talked about mental health issues we are facing today, despite of this, there are still a lot of things we need to know about depression. For instance, when we say depression, most people would think about someone who looks lonely and sad. Someone who is spending most of their days

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When mommy has cancer

My son was almost 3 1/2 when I was diagnosed, and his little sister was just 5 months old. We were still adjusting to the busy life of a family of 4 and getting everyone’s schedules straight. The day I found out I had cancer was a blur. I specifically remember thinking I would let

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His secret tribute to late wife was hidden from everyone until someone flew over their property

“There is no force in the world greater than love.” This old adage is believed by many for a reason. It speaks a lot of truth in the cases of: Paris, who risked the welfare of Troy for his love for Helen; Romeo and Juliet who defied their family to be with each other’s embrace;

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Drop these three common expressions to change your life today

For the past two years, I’ve been on a period of transformation. I quit a corporate job that was making me ill to work in flexible, part-time jobs with supportive managers. I went from being a non-runner to running half marathons.

I dug deep and searched my soul. I’m now moving towards a life I love and a lifestyle that works for me. But I had to make changes for this to happen. It didn’t just happen overnight. It wasn’t easy either, but important things always involve a certain element of challenge.

The common expressions you say everyday can impact your life

Along the way, I found there were three phrases or common expressions that kept popping up and that were the key to me moving forward. With them, I was stuck and held back. When I discarded them, I was free to move forward and create a life I loved.

So in no particular order, let me introduce these three common expressions:

 

Drop these three common expressions to change your life today

1.) “I can’t just…”

“I can’t just quit my job without something else lined up!”

“I can’t just walk away from my degree/masters!”

Think of all the times you started a sentence this way. It’s usually in response to something you’d like to do, but don’t think you can. Or something society tells you can’t. But the funny thing is, we can do anything we want!

It’s in our power to do anything we want. The “I can’t just…” phrase is just a way to convince yourself that what you want to do isn’t possible. You’ve tried, but… oh well!

I used to say this phrase many times, and I hear other people use it a lot, too. Some more common expressions are:

• “I can’t just quit my job!” (Yes, you can.)
• “I can’t just move to another country!” (Yes, you can, actually!)
• “I can’t just stop seeing people I don’t like!” (Again: yes, you can.)

Now I’m not saying these things are easy. But when you start telling yourself you can’t do something…well, the decision’s already been made in your head.

So what did I do instead? I challenged my “I can’t just…” thoughts. I played around with them. The result? I found I could do a lot more than I thought possible:

• Yes, I CAN work part-time while I figure out what I want out of life.
• Yes, I CAN book a one-way flight and move halfway across the world on my own.
• Yes, I CAN start a blog even if I don’t know exactly what I’m doing.
• Yes, I CAN spend more time with folks I love, and less time with people I don’t connect with.

So try challenging your “I can’t just…” thoughts.

What if you tried it? What if it worked?! How would your life be different if you went for all the things you wanted, instead of telling yourself you can’t have them?

 

2.) “I should…”

 

The word should technically means, “I don’t want to do this, but I feel I have to (or someone else is telling me I have to).” Think of the true meaning behind common expressions, such as:

• I’m not good enough.
• I did something wrong.

Not a great frame of mind for feeling good and going after the life you love! ‘Should’ is linked to what we feel we ought to do, rather than what our heart is telling us to do. When we listen to our heart, the real magic happens.

When we listen to what other people tell us to do… well, it’s certainly a lot harder to create a dream life that way!

My own “should’s” that were holding me back included:

• I should be happy with this job I’m in… at least I’m working.
• I should go to every event I’m asked to go to (or people might not invite me again).
• I should be happy, instead of constantly on a quest of growth and self-discovery.

But you know what? These beliefs weren’t helping me in any way. So I gave myself permission to stop the “should’s”. I don’t use that word at all now. Instead, I let myself feel what I want to feel. I do what I want to do (within reason, of course – I’m still respectful of other people).

See, it’s okay to want more out of life. It’s okay to say no to certain things, in order to have more energy for the things you do want to do. It’s okay to feel up or down, and to be on a path of lifelong learning and growth.

When I let myself be ME – instead of the person I felt I ought to be – suddenly, it was much easier to live the life I wanted.

 

3.) “I don’t have time to…”

Aha. The number one myth in the world! Take a look at these common expressions:

“I don’t have time.”

“There aren’t enough hours in the day.”

“I barely have time to breathe!”

I definitely used this expression in the past – A LOT. But the knowledge that YOU are in charge of your time is the number one tool that will help you create the life you love.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: I’m not in charge of my time – my boss is in charge of my time! Or your kids. Or your parents. Or anyone else you pretend has control.

But taking responsibility for my own time changed my life more than anything. First, I looked at how I spend my hours each day. Then, I asked myself if that is how I want to spend my time.

Ask yourself:

• Who chooses what time you get up?
• Who chooses whether you make a batch of dinners or if you cook every night?
• Who chooses how you spend your commute each day?
• Who chooses what you do every evening?
• Who chooses whether you have that conversation with your boss about working four days a week (…and who chooses how good your argument is?!)?

See, it’s all within OUR control. Yet we don’t realize the power we have with this precious commodity. So here’s a challenge for you:

Every day, for the next two weeks, write down how you spend each hour. Yes – every hour. You can summarize; don’t worry about listing every single thing you do. At the end of two weeks, look back and see how you spent your time.

Did you spend it on things you love? Or did you spend it on things other people wanted you to do?

Life is about compromise. When you realize you’re actually in the driving seat of your own life, it’s a lot easier to get moving in the direction you want.

 

So there we go – the three common expressions to kick out of your life. How would it affect you if you ditched these phrases? And are you willing to give it a go?

The post Drop these three common expressions to change your life today appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

How do I establish personal boundaries with people at work?

I have always believed that while at work, we are at work. We are present and professional. I’m in management, and other managers have frowned upon me hanging out with anyone of a lower level than I. But I don’t think that is needed if you have created personal boundaries with the people you work with.

How to establish personal boundaries with people at work

5 tips when setting personal boundaries

1.) Hanging out with your staff outside of work…

I have always been taught that you represent certain aspects of your life, like school, your workplace, or your parents. For example, I represent my business as the owner. I can’t just turn it off and go wild.

If something goes wrong and I end up on the news, or people find out, they will associate my poor behavior with the values of my company. Even when I worked in the clothing retail industry, I felt this way.

So when I wanted to, let’s say, go out to dinner with my employees, I would invite them. They would come out and meet me at the restaurant. I would NOT go pick them up. I would NOT behave inappropriately. I would try to end the dinner at a decent time.

Inasmuch as I can be a friend, I am still their boss. I don’t ever want to blur the lines, because if I did, then they would think bad behavior was acceptable at work. But it’s not.

 

2.) If you work with any family members, create clear boundaries.

My second business was given to me by my dad. So I worked with him for a long time. When I was 15, I was in the downstairs of our house (where the company started), and I was helping my dad with shipping.

As I was helping, he came up to me, in the middle of the office filled with employees, and yelled at me about something NOT work-related. He yelled at me as his child and not as his employee. It was very uncomfortable and I felt humiliated in front of others.

After he was done, I asked him to step outside for a private conversation. This is what he should have done to begin with. We were on the porch in the back of the house and I explained to him that his behavior at that time was inappropriate. When I am at work for him, I am not his daughter, I am one of his staff.

He should talk to me with the same respect as any of the other employees. It makes for a volatile workplace if he was to continue treating me like a child in front of others. They won’t be happy in such an environment either.

I told him that while I worked for him, I felt it best if he called me Ashley and I call him by his name. Not ‘baby girl’, or whatever nickname. Then, when off work, we could go back to the nicknames.

This way, it would create clear personal boundaries. He could also gauge his behavior towards me and what was acceptable or not. He agreed, and from that day forward, work was much better.

 

3.) If you have too many friends asking for a discount…

This is very difficult to establish, but it needs to be done. Most companies frown upon giving out discount anyways, but telling your friends this is hard.

For example: what if you have a friend who just bought a new house. They recall you work at a home living store; so they call you up to help furnish their entire house.

This takes up a ton of time. Your friend would have to look up what they want online. Then you have to take the list to work and buy everything. Of course, they have to pay you back. Money is involved, which makes it awkward with friends. What if your co-workers ask?

It’s just weird. If you allow yourself to do such favors, you might feel burnt out and admit you can’t do it anymore. This could hurt your friendships. Plus, work policies may not have allowed it in the first place.

So it’s really better to establish personal boundaries from the beginning. Tell your friends that you can only allow one discount per person, or that you’re not allowed to give discounts at all. The rule is to set limits upfront.

 

4.) What if you sleep with a co-worker, then become a manager?

This happens! No judgement here. My rule for this is to make it a non-issue as much as possible.

You can either: a) have a conversation with the other party and tell them to never speak of what happened ever again and to work as usual; OR b) you can just skirt the whole subject and never talk about it.

Both I think will work, depending on the person involved. But if they got attached in any way, it might not work. You might need to work around the awkwardness until the other party possibly quits because they can’t take it. I have found that this rarely happens. Usually, you can just say ‘thanks for that, but let’s never talk about it again’.

Of course, it does tend to be difficult to earn respect from that person. But hopefully, they will come around in time. Best thing to do is set personal boundaries and NEVER sleep with anyone you work with in the first place.

 

5.) What if you invite a friend to a business meeting or dinner?

You will need to establish personal boundaries before the meeting. Make sure to pick a friend who doesn’t have a history of getting so drunk they become embarrassing.

On the way to the event, explain that drinks are free, BUT set a limit to maybe one or two and that’s it. Make sure your friend understands that this is your job and your livelihood on the line. They are not to embarrass you. They are there to lift you up and be a professional themselves.

I recall a scene from the show, The Hills, when Lauren got her friends into a business outing and they got so drunk they were kicked out. Lauren should have set personal boundaries from the beginning. She should’ve talked to them during the event.

After that whole thing, she got a talk from her boss. But in real life, she most likely would have been fired. There were some high-end clients and it would have shown poorly on the host of the event.

The fiasco seemed to make clients believe that this sort of behaviour was tolerated by the magazine. It made them look unprofessional. Don’t think you can’t bring friends to work events. You can – you just need to have a talk beforehand. Make sure to invite the right friends as well.

 

There are several ways to create personal boundaries between your work and real life. But for the most part, it’s all about communication. You just need to talk to people involved and create those clear boundaries.

Sometimes, it can be uncomfortable and occasionally, you will assume everyone knows common sense. But they often don’t. So don’t assume. Speak out loud about the boundaries you expect.

The post How do I establish personal boundaries with people at work? appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

Everyone’s timing is different, don’t put pressure on yourself

In today’s generation, chasing success seems to be a lot harder than before. Especially that you feel the pressure of paying your car loan, house mortgage, college loans and other financial responsibilities. Now that everything is posted on social media sites, it is hard not to be envious of the ‘achievements’ of your friends, classmates,

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10 Things You Should Remind Yourself All The Time

You are what you tell yourself. Affirmations play an important role in shaping how we live life every day and who we will become. There is power in the mind and there is power in what you say. The truth is that, NO ONE can break you – unless you allow them to.

Other people’s opinions of you do not count unless you want them to. What you tell that person in the mirror every morning when you wake up to brush your teeth is what counts.

Here are 10 things you should remind yourself of all the time.

 

 

10 Things You Should Tell Yourself Daily

1.) You are enough.

People need to hear this all the time. There is nobody and nothing in the entire world that can complete you other than God. You have got to realize that all you ever need to overcome and to thrive…lies right in you. Don’t go seeking for validation from elsewhere. Instead, look inside.

Look how far you’ve come, all you’ve been through, and yet you are still standing strong. Let that push you and motivate you each day. Let it give you the grace to summon strength from within and realize you are enough…

 

2.) You are unique.

You are one-of-a-kind. No one can take your place, and you can’t take anyone’s place. Spend time watering your grass; no need to check whether your neighbor’s grass is greener or not. The world today has so many copies, so many impersonators, and so many people getting up each day and putting on facades.

Social media makes it seem as if XYZ has it all good (i.e. look at the cars, look at their amazing families; they always go on fancy holidays to Monaco, Singapore etc…). But the truth is that, these material things do not bring satisfaction, they do not amount to happiness. They are just the results of success.

True happiness comes from knowing your place, knowing who God has called you to be. Each of us was made with unique abilities and the world needs that. The world needs your touch…so learn to embrace who you are. Embrace your uniqueness; it is your selling point.

 

3.) Do not settle for less.

You were born extraordinary (these are not just sweet words to make you feel good). It is the truth – but it will never become a reality in your life until you believe it to be so.

You should have standards. It is important you remind yourself everyday that “I’m not going settle for less than…I am going to keep working and stay focused until I reach my goal. Even then I’ll keep working…because success is a journey, not a destination”.

So wake up each day and tell yourself “I will NOT settle for less today in my spiritual walk, academics, workplace, business, finances, health, relationships etc.”

 

4.) You can do it!

Remind yourself that it is possible. Like the Nike slogan says ‘Just do it.’ Just take that first step, just make that cold call, just send that letter, and just apply for that college/company. Trying is always worth it. Impossible is just a word – and even the letters spell out ‘I’m possible.’

Act like that, dress like that, think the part, and believe the part. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who challenge you to be a better you each day. Do not give up! Keep striving even when you fail. Get back up, try harder.

Fall down seven times, get back on the eighth! There is absolutely nothing in this world you can’t accomplish when set your mind to it and believe in yourself. It is one thing to try and it is another to remain dedicated, to remain committed against all odds.

 

5.) You are blessed.

Nothing can be compared to the spirit of gratitude. Often, the hustle and bustle of life can blind us to how blessed we are: that you have a roof over your head, family, and friends who love you, that you have the opportunity to read such content, for health and vitality.

There is so much to be thankful for, you just have to open your eyes and consider the little things you often overlook. Someone out there is wishing they had the life you have…

 

6.) You will have bad days.

This point is gradually beginning to register in my head, slowly but surely. That is life – the high times and the low times. Some days are amazing – you get that call, you get that client or that promotion, you get a good grade or you pass a test, etc. Other days…nothing.

But what matters most, the most important thing, is your attitude during times like these. Do you choose to remain grateful or do you give in and complain? It is often during these times that true character is manifested. You have the choice of seeing the positive or negative in every situation. What do you choose to see?

 

7.) Do you.

So simple, so cliché, yet so true. Do what makes you happy. Trust that gut feeling. Follow your instincts no matter what the crowd is doing or what people are saying. There are so many voices around; so many opinions and background noise. Stay true to who you are.

 

8.) Be yourself.

This is such an important thing to remind yourself of all the time. We have our mentors, celebrities, rolemodels, so many people to emulate from – but they can never be you. NO ONE can be you.

True glory comes when you can just be yourself…you don’t have to do what the Joneses are doing or buy what Mrs. So-and-So is buying just to follow the crowd. Stick to your values. Let people know the real you: you as a man or woman of integrity.

They might not tell you this, but they will respect you. Remember, you are always being watched.

 

9.) You are not like XYZ.

We often tend to compare ourselves to other people: compare our lives, experiences, material possessions (i.e. comparing our ‘behind the scenes’ with someone else’s highlight reel). The truth is, no one has it all good. This is something I have been reminding myself of lately.

Everyone is going through their own ‘hullaballoo.’ Do not envy anyone, just appreciate your journey and trust the process.

 

10.) It is going to be okay.

Everything is going to work out well. The money will come, the job/business idea will come, your spouse will come, true friends will come…in its own season. Your current situation is only temporary.

Everything has a beginning and an end. I want you to know that everything going on in your life right now is for a purpose, nothing happens by chance. It is all working together for the greater good – all to shape you into the man or woman you were meant to be.

One last thing…you’ve got this!

 

What are the other things you remind yourself of daily? What affirmations work for you? Please SHARE! I would love to know, so please write your thoughts below in the comment section.

The post 10 Things You Should Remind Yourself All The Time appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

Six parenting traps that will turn your kid into a sociopath

Most parents want only good things for their children. Their actions are based on what they believe will best serve their kids. Unfortunately, there are some mistaken ideas going around that are much more harmful to children than helpful. When parents adopt these mistaken ideas they can take actions that will encourage children to be

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Before you feel pressure; don’t let anyone rush you with their timelines

In today’s generation, chasing success seems to be a lot harder than before. Especially that you feel the pressure of paying your car loan, house mortgage, college loans and other financial responsibilities. Now that everything is posted on social media sites, it is hard not to be envious of the ‘achievements’ of your friends, classmates,

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National Geographic’s powerful cover is getting the attention it deserves

Of the 300 million tons of plastic we produce and consume worldwide every year, only a little percentage is recycled and reused. Given this overwhelming figure, you must be wondering, where do our plastics go? The latest cover of the National Geographic magazine answers this important question. The latest cover aptly called Planet or Plastic,

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BREAKING: U.S. Food and Drug Administration today approved first drug to prevent migraine

For those who have chronic migraine, the severe throbbing in their head which most often leave them feeling disabled, cannot be cured by a simple sleep, or a pop of Ibuprofen. It is actually a wonder how they could stand having to suffer from migraine in a daily basis. Some of those even experience migraine

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Why you should say YES to new things more often

The thought of trying something new conjures up diverse emotions for different people. For some, the thought is exciting, adventurous, and thrilling. For others, it’s risky, fearful, and stressful.

So while there are those who would jump and say YES at these chances, others dread the very possibility of a new experience, quickly saying “NO” to any such request.

 

Ready to say YES to life?

But saying “YES” to every new thing may not be wise as well. ‘New’ isn’t always necessarily good for you, and it might not always fit with your interests or ethics. However, saying “NO” simply out of fear, nervousness, or worry, restricts your ability to grow and have the types of experiences that can help you realize a more fulfilling life.

Saying “YES” can bring great value to you as a person. It can even be the catalyst to drive the same in others.

 

3 Reasons why you should say YES to new things more often

1.) Saying “YES” to new things can lead to new opportunities.

The popular saying “seize the day”, speaks volumes to what it means to say YES to new things and why we need to do it. Choosing to say so opens up yourself to change. You put yourself in the position to experience possibilities that you could not design or chart on your own.

New things and experiences can open your eyes, mind, and heart to new discoveries. This can help give you direction to plan your future, go after your dreams, meet the right people, and create the right connections.

It makes it possible for you to accomplish goals, land your next job, or even meet “the one” you want to spend the rest of your life with. Saying “YES” to something new can re-shape your entire life for good, giving you the ability to inspire and help others to do the same.

Jeff Moore for instance, said “YES” when he launched Everyday Power. It has since impacted thousands of people. He could have shrugged off the idea (saying “NO”) – but think of the void that would exist.

By saying “YES”, he has positively impacted his life and the lives of:

• Readers (from all walks of life) looking for inspiration, guidance, and tips;
• Contributors looking for an outlet and opportunity to share and to develop.

Just think about the Web of connections formed when ONE person said “YES” to something new!

 

2.) It helps with our personal growth.

Saying “YES” to new things can help expand your knowledge as well as increase your understanding of others. It’s also a great way of gaining information about current interests, or subjects you wish to learn more about. Trying new things can present opportunities not only to explore one’s likes, but also build up dreams into something real.

Expanding your horizons helps to increase your awareness of what is available. It exposes you to options that can make a difference in defining your future. Saying “YES” to a new place, event, or idea is a way of gathering information to aid you in deciding what, or where, you want to be.

Personally, choosing to say YES to going away to college truly broadened my views and expanded my horizons.  Meeting individuals from different backgrounds with varying interests and talents uncovered a wide array of perceptions and understanding. This experience shaped my ability to interact comfortably and peacefully with a melting pot of personalities.

Think about it: if you have dreams of leadership, you must be able to deal with a lot of different personality types and backgrounds. If you always stay in one area you’re familiar with, it becomes quite difficult to grow and prepare yourself for that role.

What happens if a situation calls for you to coordinate with all kinds of individuals? Opening your life to change and letting yourself explore something new by saying “YES” helps you build the skill set needed to successfully operate in most any environment.

 

3.) Choose wisely when you say YES.

Saying “YES” takes you down one path, and saying “NO” leads you on another. The path connected to each answer typically flow in parallel and never meet. So when you say YES or NO, you are:

• Choosing the roads you will travel;
• Selecting the people you will meet;
• Deciding what or who you will encounter along the way; as well as
• Defining your likely destination.

So when you do say YES, it shouldn’t be on a whim. It shouldn’t be because you are pressured. Even though you are heading into the unknown, your “YES” must come with some hope and belief.

Your “YES” must come from a place of expectancy. There should be some thought or consideration of your goals, hopes, and dreams. You should perceive how saying “YES” will impact your life, as well as those around you. 

But don’t get too bogged down in analysis. Develop your sense of who or what can help you achieve the things you want in life; and grow your intuition enough to detect negative behaviors, situations, or places that might be harmful to you.

Take all these elements into consideration. So when something new comes along, you can quickly assess it and see if you sense great possibilities. “Seize the day” with a resounding “YES”!

 

The post Why you should say YES to new things more often appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

3 Easy ways to get noticed during a job search

Have you found the perfect job for you? Whether the answer to that is a yes or a no, you are unknowingly preparing for it every day. In fact, you might already possess the skills and qualifications needed to apply. All that’s missing is a chance.

But how will you be able to compete with all the other candidates who have the same qualifications as you?

 

Want to get noticed and get that job?

In order to stand out and get the job, you will have to know how to separate yourself from the rest of the candidates. Here are some easy ways to get noticed during your job search and allow you to land the position you’ve had your eye on.

 

3 Easy ways to get noticed during a job search

1.) Get to the point.

Unless unavoidable, try not to start your email with how you found their job opening. Instead, begin by introducing yourself formally. Even if you’re actively searching for jobs, it’s best to reserve that information until you are invited for an interview. Make the first sentences of your email count.

Let the company know your skills and qualifications that would make you a great addition to their team. You need to skip anything irrelevant to the position you want to get noticed for. Focus on writing all that is important to the people who wish to hire you.

Keep in mind that they are looking for someone highly qualified. You have to make them see why they need you in their company. They will probably receive a lot of emails, so make sure yours was considered one of those which were exactly on point.

 

2.) Mention a personal connection.

If you know somebody who used to, or currently works, for the company you’re applying for, make sure to mention that in your email. That’s because companies usually trust their employees’ opinions over a stranger’s. Be specific when you do so (i.e. if you were personally referred, etc.).

When required, you can also write this person’s name under your references (as long as you asked first!). If giving your profile through an online submission form, you may state your affiliation on the question ‘where did you hear about this position’.

Dropping names could be a great avenue to stand out and get noticed. Provided that this person has a trustworthy record, employers will probably take your little effort into consideration.

 

3.) Deliver your resume personally.

If you wish to earn a few more points in your favor, you might want to consider hand-delivering your resume to the company instead of simply attaching it to your email. If the business establishment is within your locality, it will only take a few minutes of your time. Plus, you will be able to show off your professionalism and dedication.

This tactic might not always be possible (i.e. if the company is too far away). However, whenever you can, giving your resume personally is a simple method to easily get noticed.

 

Get noticed and bag your dream job!

You don’t need to go out of your way all the time when you’re job-hunting. As long as you stick to the points mentioned, you should be fine.

Resumes are just the tip of the iceberg – but if you want to get noticed, an error-free and well-written one is a must. Check numerous resources online, or even resume writing services, to help make the right impression before meeting your potential employer.

The post 3 Easy ways to get noticed during a job search appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

Teacher begs parents: please stop coddling and enabling your kids

If having the hardest job in the world is a competition, teachers all over the world will probably win via landslide. If you think you can multitask, shape the future of not only one but a number of students, in addition to the stress dealing with the students’ and the parents’ attitude brings, and a

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Struggling dad trying to make ends meet gets precious surprise from grateful daughter

Do you remember how sweet and special your prom night in high school was? From the exciting process of choosing the right dress that would match the corsage of your date, to stepping on the dance floor to dance in a romantic song, prom night sure is one of the most anticipated events of an

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Fellow passengers cheer stranded soldier who was watching wife give birth to their baby via FaceTime

It is common knowledge that in the quest to serve the country and the world, soldiers have to make a lot of sacrifices. These sacrifices do not only involve the admirable and selfless act of dying for the country that comes in serving in the army. In addition to their mortal life, soldiers sacrifice a

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How to love yourself unconditionally

To love yourself unconditionally is a seriously misunderstood concept. Before learning how to make it happen, you first need to understand what it doesn’t mean.

It is NOT thinking that you’re perfect, absolutely wonderful, and should always be adored. It doesn’t involve accepting everything you think, feel, or do as okay. It doesn’t mean ignoring or being in denial about your flaws.  

Not to sound simplistic, but all it means is to avoid putting pre-conditions or limits on loving, valuing, and accepting yourself. Don’t tell yourself, “I will love myself when I’m thin, smart, rich, married, a success, or a winner.”

Don’t decide that you’ll love yourself unconditionally tomorrow. But that you’ll do it right now, this minute.

Why you should love yourself unconditionally

Conditional and unconditional love has necessary evolutionary functions. Because infants and children are not always likeable, the love we feel for them must be unconditional so that we’ll care for them and keep the species from dying out.

Humans wouldn’t have survived very long if we stopped loving children because they did upsetting things, such as having a crying fit that requires us to leave a Broadway show that we paid a fortune to see in order to relieve our distraught babysitter.

Of course, we cannot go on loving children unconditionally as they grow into adults without also shaping them in such a way that they can function well in society. Humane qualities need to be reinforced, while inhumane behaviors extinguished.

This is tricky business: to continue to love children unconditionally, while also managing to transform their inappropriate behaviors into appropriate ones. We need to show a kind of love that will help them see themselves in this same way.

 

Love yourself unconditionally: What is self-love?

 

 

Having self-love involves having warm, positive, worthwhile, caring feelings toward yourself. It’s about valuing your specialness, NOT because you’re superior to other people, but because there is, and never will be, another person quite like you on the planet.

Your uniqueness comes from your being to make you a one-of-a-kind item. Self-love means believing in your worth even when you make mistakes, fail, or do a half-assed job at something.

As a psychotherapist, I’ve noticed over the decades how difficult it is for clients to wrap their minds around this concept.

Most people feel that in order to be lovable, they must achieve or excel at something. They insist that they can’t love themselves or that others won’t love them, unless (or until) a better version of themselves comes along.

 

How do you develop unconditional self-love?

If you grew up being mistreated, neglected, or not well-loved, you may not feel lovable today. If so, you were raised by people who didn’t love themselves enough and couldn’t love you any better than they did. So you’ve come to see yourself through their eyes.

I often test clients’ feelings about themselves by asking: “Do you love yourself?” Those who love themselves usually look at me as if I have two heads. “Of course I do,” they tell me, then roll their eyes.

On the other hand, people who fail at loving themselves generally pause before answering, then utter something like, “Well, I think so,” “I’m trying to,” or “I know I should, but….” Anything but a resounding, ‘yes’.

They fail the test because to be emotionally healthy, self-love needs to be so ingrained that we don’t think about it; we just know it’s there. It’s like breathing. You don’t have to be aware of it to do it. It should be an automatic response that you love yourself unconditionally.

 

What are ways to develop self-love?

I remember a friend who had affirmations about loving herself plastered all over her bathroom. I mean, a person sitting on the toilet was faced with a shelving unit covered in sayings about self-love.

As a therapist, I thought sadly at how unloving my friend must feel toward herself to need all that inspiration and encouragement. Of course, this was the decade of affirmations and visualizations as the path to self-enlightenment and self-love. I never for a minute bought this notion (and I still don’t).

We certainly internalized positive feelings as children when our parents treated us well and told us they loved us. But if we missed out on that or we never had the opportunity to adopt self-loving feelings during childhood, we can’t simply assume that hearing or reading that we’re lovable (no matter how often it’s repeated), will make us feel that way now.

In fact, I believe that if you want to love yourself unconditionally, you need to go out on a limb and just do it. I believe self-love is just that: an irrevocable decision. You decide that either you’re going to love yourself or not, that you’re lovable in spite of your flaws.

This can be a difficult concept to grasp. When I presented it to one client, she laughed and said that it would be easier for her to believe that aliens lived among us than that she was lovable.

Another client started to cry when I suggested that loving herself was nothing more than a decision. She insisted that she desperately wished to love herself unconditionally, but never could because she was terrified that she might be wrong to feel that way, and that would hurt too much.

 

Comparing ourselves to others

I often ask clients if they think that other people are lovable – and they usually agree. Then I ask if that means that these folks are high achievers and exceptionally wonderful people – they disagree. My next question though, is always the same:

“So does that mean that everyone else in the world is lovable and should possess unconditional self-love except for you?”

“So, 7,299,999,999 people are lovable, but you’re not. All those people can have flaws and still love themselves unconditionally, but not you. Do I have that right?”

This usually swings them around to see my point: That other people behave badly, hurt others, harm themselves, are imperfect, yet still recognize themselves as lovable and worthy of love. Our faults are part of being human. Thus, you have no real reason NOT to love yourself unconditionally.

 

What works in learning to love yourself unconditionally

I don’t believe that affirmations or visualizations will teach you how to love yourself unconditionally. Nor is having others tell you repeatedly how lovable you are. They might help some – but they won’t turn the wagon around.

What works is to change YOUR belief that you must be something other than exactly what you are to love yourself. Psychology calls this framing. You get to stay your imperfect self, but love yourself unconditionally anyway.

You can still practice becoming a better person, not in order to love yourself more, but because you simply believe that you would be happier by having fewer faults. Although you know you will never get rid of them all, you do your best because it will make you proud of yourself.

You believe it will improve your chances of success, love, happiness, and having more satisfying, meaningful relationships. That kind of self-regard needs to stay steady whether you improve or not.

Paradoxical? Yes. Impossible? No.

Anyone who’s read my books or blogs knows that I’m a firm believer in the concept of ‘good enough’. Just being born gives you the right to be loved. You don’t need to do or be anything else to qualify.

 

Take a chance on loving yourself in the same way you’ve taken chances on loving other people who weren’t perfect. What you’ll find is that, when you love yourself unconditionally, you’ll become the improved version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be.

The post How to love yourself unconditionally appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

9 Life Lessons from Sales Superstars

A little-known training ground with huge personal development gains is on sales. It doesn’t sound glamorous, but learning sales can teach you how to handle pressure, rejection, negotiations, and how to communicate like a rock-star.

It doesn’t hurt that there’s a lot of potential for a great income, too. Here’s how sales work helped make me a tougher man in life and in business.

My life lessons from learning sales

It started with optimism and a can-do attitude. I was convinced I was going to be a sales superstar. In fact, I was so convinced that the manager at the Ford lot believed it, too.

At least, until I started crumbling under the pressure of the sales environment.

A couple months into my new job and things were not looking so good. Besides making almost NO sales, I had a big hole in the sole of my shoe and it was raining, hard. Another potential client walked off the lot because I was terrified of approaching and did a really bad job.

I joined the sales team at Ford to change my life. But I couldn’t even afford to change my shoes. The optimism I felt the day I was hired was fading fast. Day after day, I was supposed to put a smile on my face – but I felt empty inside.

Every time I saw someone on the lot, I cringed because I might have to talk to them. That was my job, but the daily rejections were weighing heavily on me.

Then one day, I learned a lesson that I would never forget. The sales manager called me:

“Eddy, someone just drove on the lot. Go talk to him.”

I dragged my wet feet across the giant car lot to greet this potential client. I could hear the water sloshing inside of my shoe from the small lake that I had soaked up.

I greeted a guy sitting in an old Mercury. He obviously needed a new set of wheels.

“Uh, hey. Do you need any help?” He answered with a very disinterested look on his face, “Um, no I’m OK. Just kicking tires…”

I felt like an idiot for failing, again. I needed a sale badly, but I didn’t know how to keep a customer’s attention.

I made my way back across the lot knowing the sales manager was going to ask me what just happened. I could feel his eyes glaring at me as I got closer to the showroom.

That’s when I received one of the most valuable life lessons on body language: “Eddy…as soon as you got to the car you shoved your hands in your pockets. Insecurity was written all over you.”

This insight into body language opened up a new world of communication that I was unaware of. Your body will always tell other people what you’re feeling.

In spite of my crushing experience at the Ford lot, I learned some big life lessons. They’re part of the foundation of soft skills which I apply to my business and social interactions every day.

My bumpy start helped make me to become the man I am now. Every experience is valuable if you learn its lessons – especially when you fail.

Nine different sales and business superstars contributed to this post. Here are some life lessons that these business and sales leaders want to share with you:

 

9 Life Lessons from Sales Superstars

“Don’t assume that because something is the conventional wisdom in the organization that it based on wisdom. Question and doubt the basic principles of what you do on a frequent basis.”

– Dan Ariely, author of Irrationally Yours and The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty @DanAriely

 

“[Sales taught me] that learning to understand, respect, and work within human nature is the key to success, whether in sales or any other area of life.”

– Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver @BobBurg

 

“The distance between a dream and the stark reality of the present is a major problem. Setting a huge goal is supposed to be hugely motivating, but comparing your current state to your eventual goal is in fact incredibly de-motivating and demoralizing — and is usually the reason we give up on our goals.

Instead of thinking about the end result, the key is to a process and a routine. Pick something you want to do, break it down into daily chunks, commit to keeping your head down and grinding out those daily chunks… and one day you’ll lift up your head and realize you’ve accomplished what that once seemed impossible — even to you.”

– Jeff Haden is an author on Inc., a LinkedIn influencer, and the author of TransForm @jeff_haden

 

“Beyond a close circle of people who care about you, don’t worry what others think.”

– Daniel Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising The Surprising Truth about What Motivates Us @DanielPink

 

“My #1 life lesson from sales:  It’s truly energizing when your authentic motivation to ‘sell’ is driven by the desire to deliver great value and improve the condition of the client. Not only does that propel you to talk to more people and help you handle objections and rejection, but it changes how your clients perceive you! Instead of seeing you as selfishly pitching them, you get perceived as someone who wants to help, and then their defence shields come down.”

– Mike Weinberg, author of New Sales Simplified and The Essential Handbook for Prospecting @mike_weinberg

 

“Sales isn’t something you do to somebody. It is something you do for and with somebody. You have to wade into the breach and have the difficult client conversations that others fear. It’s your willingness to ‘go there’ that makes you a trusted adviser and someone worth doing business with. Face your fears and help others face theirs.”

– Anthony Iannarino, author of The Only Sales Guide You’ll Ever Need @iannarino

 

“You’ve got to be tough to succeed in sales because there are so many obstacles. Sales taught me how to keep going in the face of adversity; how to be get up after being knocked down; and, how to relentlessly, and single-mindedly pursue a goal.”

– Jeb Blount, author of Fanatical Prospecting @SalesGravy

 

“Sales made me a tougher man by forcing me to realize that numbers do not lie and at the end of the day, you—and you alone—are responsible for your numbers, the primary number being your bank account balance, which is the direct result of your bad or good decisions.”

– Wes Schaeffer, author of 79 Stories on Selling with Integrity @SalesWhisperer

 

“Sales made me a better man because I learned to come to grips with who I am, not what other people thought of me. Sales is a personal development course with a pay plan attached.”

– Ryan Stewman, author of Hardcore [C]loser @ryanstewman

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An open letter to the strongest woman I’ve ever known

Dear mom, As the world celebrates a day to give thanks and appreciation to the amazing woman who nurtured and raised them, I have been thinking about what gift to give you. I thought of buying an expensive perfume for you, but I am not sure what scent you would like to smell. I thought

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A mother’s story of strength in the face of “unbearable” loss

THE BLUE STAIN The other night I was scrubbing up some slime that my daughter had let ooze through her fingers and slip onto the floor. The slime craze is big in our house and it often leaves behind a sticky, gooey mess. My daughter had cleaned up most of it, but I was scrubbing

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Things a person does that certify them as your ‘Forever Friend’

Friendship means different things to everyone. To some it means security, to others it means trust and maybe even just common interests. A combination of different things that make your life better because of their friendship. Only you know deep down inside who will be your forever friends. Forever friends are in a different category

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Why being nice doesn’t mean you’re being weak

Being nice can be a bad thing. If people know you’re a pushover, they’ll walk all over you all day.

You’ve probably heard these things before.

The idea is that nice people don’t defend themselves. They don’t get up in someone else’s grill when they’ve been slighted. That turns them into an easy target.

Nice people don’t know how to compete. They’re too afraid to go out and take what’s theirs. They lack ambition.

The problem with that way of thinking is that it ignores what being nice really means. It overlooks strengths that being nice bring to the table; things that will make it easier to be successful.

Is being nice really a bad thing?

A lot of people think that being nice is to acquiesce. You have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone else’s whims, take on tasks no one else wants, and meet every need but yours.

But that’s not true.

To truly appreciate niceness, you have to see it as a means to an end. For me, that means focusing my energy on improving the welfare of those around me. That can sound like acquiescence, but it isn’t.

‘Welfare’ is a broader concept than filling the needs of the moment. It also takes the future into account and who’s going to benefit from it. In this regard, let’s look at the reasons why being nice doesn’t equal being weak.

Why being nice doesn’t mean you’re being weak

1.) You care about true welfare for others.

If you think about it, would it ever be in anyone’s best interest to have everyone around them do everything for them? Of course not. That kind of environment would leave people weak and unable to care for themselves. Setting individuals up for that situation isn’t nice at all.

Does it improve a person’s welfare to give them extra opportunities to take advantage of you? No. That just perpetuates the self-defeating cycle that keeps them from true success.

Sometimes, the nice thing to do isn’t to bend to the wishes of those around us, but rather, to hold firm boundaries that will push them to be better than they are. Being nice means allowing them the personal growth they need.

When you’re truly a nice person, the boundaries you create are always communicated with respect and regard for the other person. That takes more personal strength than simply bulldozing people with criticism, leaving someone else to pick up the wreckage.

It takes finesse to properly communicate firmness and positive regard. It takes good judgment to know when to give in and when to take in tense situations, instead of trying to assert authority over every little thing.

But the nice ones know that the extra effort is worth it. They know they will be able to get their short-term results without sacrificing critical relationships that build strong culture and sustainable growth. They know that force is only a temporary solution that ignores the bigger picture.

 

2.) You’re more flexible than others.

Adaptability to different needs and situations is a core skill of a nice person that amounts to a lot more than simply bowing to everyone else’s whims. In general, it’s a valuable trait in life. In the fast-paced world we live in, we need to be able to adjust our behavior based on changing circumstances.

If you think about it, being nice is another way of saying that you’re flexible to another person’s needs. You take them into account and deal with them accordingly. That isn’t a weakness at all! What boss doesn’t want an employee who knows how to make smart adjustments to fit various situations?

When the world changes around us, we have two options: We can stay the same and hope that it will conform to what we want, OR we can change with it. Nice people are willing to take the latter route.  They can’t control the actions of those around them – but they can control how they react.

 

3.) Nice people know how to pick their battles.

Being nice isn’t about giving everything to everyone. It’s about picking your battles, letting the little things slide so you have more time for important matters. People who always demand constant obedience to their wishes eventually lose whatever willingness people around them may have had.

By learning to give a little more on the less critical issues, it’s more likely that our associates will give us their loyalty – which is what matters most. That dynamic creates a less hostile work environment that slows turnover and fosters teamwork.

We need each other to complete our daily tasks. To gain the cooperation of our companions, we can either choose to employ coercion or persuasion. When niceness is done right, you can get people to comply without having to use force.

 

4.) You have better control of your emotions.

Being nice means that you’re strong enough not to let a bad day or week control your actions for you. It means being willing to give someone else the benefit of the doubt and not snap back at them, even when it seems like it’s warranted. It means keeping your cool even when things heat up around you.

Those who choose NOT to be nice are showing that they are still stinging from wounds that haven’t completely healed yet. The ironic fact is that, these people need kindness more than anyone else. Being able to stay calm enough to be good to them is surely a great strength.

 

At the end of the day, kindness can have its disadvantages. It can enable others to take advantage of people, or perpetuate self-defeating behavior. But then, precaution and knowledge are important safety measures for any kind of powerful tool.

Ultimately, being nice is what you make it. With good judgment and a proper understanding of the concept, kindness can be a great asset when working with people and building a culture of positivity, cooperation, and success.

The post Why being nice doesn’t mean you’re being weak appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

Kentucky janitor gives $175K savings to child abuse victims

More often than not, donations are expected to come from rich and wealthy people. However, Alvin Randlett, a retired janitor at the Sixth District School in Covington, proves that you don’t have to have a six figure salary in order to do so. Sometimes, to do great things, all you need is a compassionate and

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How You Can Efficiently Market Any Business Online Thought

Web marketing might be a great advantage for someone thinking of starting a new business enterprise or even to enhance and expand a preexisting organization. Finding a sound place to start can be difficult, though the online is rich with facts about this topic. This post features some concise tips for Online marketing.

A collection of the customer mailing list is important. Give your prospects many chances to leave their email address part of the buying process.

Ensure your website is diverse and different! With your numerous web sites on the net, you must stand out to be successful. One way to create your website stick out would be to highlight a service you are offering that nobody else does.

Will not stop out advertising and marketing also. You could potentially phone, e-mail and fax.

Search engines like yahoo are definitely more capable of cataloging web sites with much less subpages, than when it just has 10 to 20 or so thousands of.

Generally utilize signatures when you e mail other folks, even if the e-mail is merely personal. This is sort of a organization greeting card, and you should distribute it considerably and large. You are offering every person you email a hyperlink for your company, by letting the users of your own e-mails to see the way your company is really.

Online marketing must cause further Internet Marketing. The theory is unquestionably you want to produce a routine of customers discovering your company, along with has grown awareness mainly because it attempts to bring in new consumers, although it does seem unorthodox.

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Most cellphone firms allow you add a committed work number along with your phone. So try and get a passionate quantity.

Keeping your site easy and simple is something which is usually ignored by webmasters. Smart proprietors be aware that not everybody will be able or may wish to use this sort of technologies. Whether it doesn’t have expensive features, an internet site should be fully functional.

Be sure you use social networking to grow your customer base.Youtube is a superb web site that lets you have everyday dialogue together with your customers.

Whilst it might seem productive to post a bunch of remarks on web sites, they are certainly not almost competitive with you imagine. It can transform people out, by neglecting to incorporate personal touch factors inside your advertisements.

A lot of people consider the vouchers with gratitude and as another motivator to go back to a coupon to get anything they necessary or needed anyways.

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How your site seems as well as the look it produces needs to be just as important as what you are marketing.Try out your website on a standard links, artwork, your and schedule check out program regularly.

Encourage followers to imagine daily life with your product or service. Your advertisements should ensure it is to enable them to appreciate special rewards boasting of your merchandise.

Use social media sites like MySpace or Facebook or myspace and send out information and facts consisting of hyperlinks to your company in your potential audience. Be cautious you never ever send out junk that people don’t want considering that MySpace has become using many people to judge to avoid it.

Since you’ve study these awesome tips, there is no doubt you know what an incredible instrument internet marketing might be from the right fingers. Make use of this article’s ideas to raise the revenue you are making from online marketing.

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